36x48” Acrylic and Pastel on Canvas

2023

The more I look, the more I find myself confined. There is an unspoken pressure to remove myself from my humanness; the parts that long to be messy.  There is a nuance here; the grief that comes with mourning the me that is now missing. Loss of the tangible can be easier to pinpoint. Love was portrayed to me as something that created a false identity: wanting to be wanted so badly, forgetting my own wanting in the process.

The unsettling experience of losing one’s sense of self can be subtle, slow, unnoticeable. In others it can be jarring, almost earth shattering. How we acclimate and learn to live with this reinvention, over and over… and over.

Reaching out to catch a glimpse myself, in the recovery and excavation process. Are you still there, buried beneath it all?

Signed + Dated by the artist

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